Astronomical Songs

Krisciunas, Kevin

Give me a supernova,

A bright one in the northern sky.

Something like minus seventh magnitude.

Zap me with your neutrinos.

Produce a little lead and gold.

Give me a bright new star at night

Before I'm wrinkled, grey, and old.

Give Me a Supernova Sung to "Give My Regards to Broadway"

Jedicke, Peter Bigellow, David

The stars go nova one by one. KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM!

Nucleosynthesis is done, KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM!

The supernovas dissipate

What fusion energy helped create

And the stars go nova in the galaxy.

The heavy elements are born. KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM! And from the stellar cores are torn. KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM! Shells of gas are strewn through space Distributing matter all over the place And the spiral arms are littered with debris.

Do galaxies in space collide? KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM!

It seems they might, 'cause they're so wide. KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM!

Computer simulations show,

Five hundred million years or so,

Is what it takes for galaxies to merge.

As the years go by the remnants spread. KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM!

But the universe is far from dead. KA-BOOM, KA-BOOM!

To eliminate the tedium

Of the interstellar medium

Come the molecules that make up you and me.

The Stars Go Nova Sung to "When Johnny Comes Marching Home"

Unknown

Whoe'er would search the starry sky,

Its secrets to divine, sir,

Should take his glass—I mean, should try

A glass or two of wine, sir!

True virtue lies in golden mean,

And man must wet his clay, sir;

Join these two maxims, and 'tis seen

He should drink his bottle a day, sir!

Old Archimedes, reverend sage! By trump of fame renowned, sir, Deep problems solved in every page, And the sphere's curved surface found, sir: Himself he would have far outshone, And borne a wider sway, sir, Had he our modern secret known, And drank a bottle a day, sir!

When Ptolemy, now long ago, Believed the Earth stood still, sir, He never would have blundered so, Had he but drunk his fill, sir: He'd then have felt it circulate, And would have learnt to say, sir, The true way to investigate Is to drink your bottle a day, sir!

Copernicus, that learned weight,

The glory of his nation,

With draughts of wine refreshed his sight,

And saw the Earth's rotation

Each planet then its orb described,

The Moon got under way, sir;

These truths from nature he imbibed

For he drank his bottle a day, sir!

The noble Tycho placed the stars, Each in its due location;

He lost his nose by spite of Mars,

But that was no privation:

Had he but lost his mouth, I grant

He would have felt dismay, sir,

Bless you! he knew what he should want

To drink his bottle a day, sir!

Cold water makes no lucky hits;

On mysteries the head runs:

Small drink let Kepler time his wits

On the regular polyhedrons:

He took to wine, and it changed the chime,

His genius swept away, sir,

Through area varying as the time

At the rate of a bottle a day, sir!

Poor Galileo, forced to rat

Before the Inquisition,

E pur si muove was the pat

He gave them in addition:

He meant, whate'er you think you prove,

The Earth must go its way, sirs;

Spite of your teeth I'll make it move,

For I'll drink my bottle a day, sirs!

Great Newton, who was never beat Whatever fools may think, sir; Though sometimes he forgot to eat, He never forgot to drink, sir: Descartes took nought but lemonade, To conquer him was play, sir; The first advance that Newton made Was to drink his bottle a day, sir!

D'Alembert, Euler, and Clairaut, Though they increased our store, sir, Much further had been seen to go Had they tippled a little more, sir! Lagrange gets mellow with Laplace, And both are wont to say, sir, The philosopher who's not an ass Will drink his bottle a day, sir!

In Augustus De Morgan A Budget of Paradoxes Volume I

The Astronomer's Drinking Song (p. 382)

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